“The last time we [Joe and Jim] were close enough to be photographed together, a gravitational singularity occurred. This resulted in the destruction of a small convenience store and goat farm in eastern Oregon. It’s for the best that we don’t post pictures now. Think of the goats.” – Big Jim, August 24, 2015
“Have you ever just wanted to embrace your cis male privilege by getting half naked and watching gladiator movies while crying over a pile of chili cheese nachos? It’s OK, you are not alone.” – Big Jim, August 25th, 2015
This morning, whilst eating my artificially-flavored cardboard doused in 2% milk (regularity helps stave off exposure to PowerPoint), I got a message from my new twitter friend, “Chistina M.” (@cmartinvacay). She wanted me to take her cool quiz, and promised me an awesome bonus!
A good relationship is all about reciprocity, so I replied:
“I don’t usually do the quizzes, Chrissy, but I’ll make you a deal. Study my presentation on how PowerPoint is the Devil, answer the following question correctly and I will take your quiz.
Q1. Holding down CTRL + ALT while clicking the ‘π’ symbol in the lower right-hand corner of a Mozart’s Ghost-themed presentation will:
a. Give Sandra Bullock the power of Epilepsy
b. Summon Steve Ballmer
c. Cover Walt Mossberg in Crisco
d. All of the above
e. None of the above”
I think that’s fair. Quid pro quo and all that mess!
Yes, your PowerPoint is the Devil!
No one should ever use it! To make certain that this point is crystal clear, I’ve put together a brief, 13-slide PowerPoint Presentation, saved in PDF format, which, as everyone knows, is proof against it’s evil animated powers!
“My room is a graveyard of empty pickled sausage jars in a swamp of spit bottles and chicks with dicks jokes.” ~ Big Jim, July 21, 2015
ECHO HelL0 World!!!
ECHO He1lo World!!!
ECHO h3llo World!!!
ECHO hEllo ~ World!!!
ECHO hello w0rld!!!
ECHO Hell0 Wor1d!!!
ECHO HelLo WorlD!!!
It’s amazing how soon comment spammers start creeping in so soon after a fresh site’s creation! While I give them a ‘D’ for determination, I’ve setup enough of these to know how to handle them…
Disclaimer: No worthless spambots or their masters were harmed in the making of the this post. Instead, an anti-spam plugin was deployed, and has discarded a metric crap tonne of junk comments…still, the illustration above looks like a lot more fun :)…