Why we haven’t posted a new Recipe in a while…

In the 3rd world shit hole I currently live in, I discovered a rare and wonderful treasure called, “Paldo Namja Ramen”  a couple years back. It’s a spicy garlic-flavored Korean-style instant noodle.

The Ramen Rater, Grand Guru of all things Ramen-Related (how’s that for some gratuitous alliteration?) thinks very highly of this one, giving it a 5/5, and I’m inclined to agree.

While they are good out of the bag as is, most people kick them up a notch with other ingredients such as eggs (usually boiled or poached, but sometimes fried), green onion, slices of meat, cheese, soy sauce, fresh veggies or whatever else is handy.

Even so, I’m always curious as to how other people prepare theirs, and on a whim, decided to look around on the YouTube and came across this:

You will never, ever, EVER make Ramen with the flare and gusto this bastard does! …and neither will I :(…

You may as well give up cooking altogether!

How can you, or I or anyone compete with that!? Have you ever seen someone fucking coax an egg out of a chicken in a kind of Gung Fu stroke-gasm?? No, you haven’t! Me neither, now that I think about it… but he did it!

Hell he didn’t even look at his at the pot to make sure the egg he was cracking actually landed in it… clearly, he’s seen the Cool Guys don’t look at Explosions music video. Even so, ANYONE can not look at an explosion — but how many people can crack eggs into a pot without looking whilst pulling off an anguished look on their face??

I know what you guys are thinking – it’s a commercial, they must be using CGI and other movie magic tricks to pull this off. I say you can keep the wool pulled over your eyes if you want to, but I know what I saw…

I don’t know what blue pill he’s taken to pull that off (Viagra maybe?) but dammit I want what he’s having!

Titus Pullo’ed Pork

Print Recipe
This sandwich is worth half the whores in Narbo (and their mothers)! Serves: The entire 13th legion! Well a couple of them anyhow... Prep: I don't know, you're the clever one!! Cook Time: Enough time to drink all the wine, smoke all the smoke and f*** every whore in the city!
Print Recipe
This sandwich is worth half the whores in Narbo (and their mothers)! Serves: The entire 13th legion! Well a couple of them anyhow... Prep: I don't know, you're the clever one!! Cook Time: Enough time to drink all the wine, smoke all the smoke and f*** every whore in the city!
Ingredients
Servings:
Instructions
  1. This is an easy dish to make. Just toss all the mumping ingredients into a large electric roaster and set the cack-faced dial to 225 degree F.
  2. Add enough water to cover about a quarter of the roast and let it cook until it falls apart. Perfect slow cook dish to set up overnight while sleeping!
  3. Shred the pork up and serve on a toasted ciabatta (or any other true roman bread, for true romans...ciabatta probably isn't, but shut up and eat it anyhow...) making sure the bread is wet as October with the broth. Great with a bit of spicy giardiniera if you like it hot as Vulcan's cock.
Recipe Notes

Before eating, make sure stab the sandwich with your Gladius repeatedly while shouting, "THIRTEEEEEENTH!!! THIRTEEEEEEEEEENTH!!!"

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