Meatloaf’s Name is Robert Paulson!

 

This is Bob...err...Meatloaf...Meatloaf has bitch-tits. Serves 4-8 people, but only two at a time. Prep for as long as you need. Cook until one person taps out or goes unconscious.
Prep Time20 minutes
Cook Time1 hour 45 minutes
Course: Main Dish
Cuisine: Merican
Keyword: Fight Club, Meatloaf, Robert Paulson
Servings: 16 Space Monkeys
Calories: 775kcal
Author: Big Jim

Ingredients

Ketchup glaze

  • 3/4 cup ketchup
  • 2 tbsps brown sugar

Meat

  • 3 lbs ground pork sausage
  • 3 lbs ground beef (80/20)
  • 15 oz italian bread crumbs
  • 1 lbs bacon
  • 2 whole eggs

Vegetables

  • 1 lbs sweet peppers (red, orange, green) diced
  • 1 large green bell pepper diced
  • 1 large white onion diced
  • 3 tbsps garlic minced
  • 1 tbsp rice vinegar
  • 2 tbsps olive oil extra virgin

Instructions

Meatloaf

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Dice all of the vegetables and place them a large bowl. Keep your pistols nearby for motivational purposes.
  • Add vinegar to the diced vegetables and mix well. Lightly sweat the vegetables in the olive oil. Combine the ground beef, sausage, vegetables, breadcrumbs and eggs into a large roasting or loaf pan. Pound with fists into cookie dough (imagine you're destroying something beautiful).
  • Lay strips of bacon in a lattice pattern over the top of the bitch tit. If unsure how to do this, please refer to the Crazy Russian Hacker's instructional video (http://tiny.cc/u76a2x).
  • Cover the Robert Paulson and place in the oven for 1 hour (or until his rectal temperature reaches 165 degrees).

Ketchup Glaze

  • While Meatloaf is baking-off, combine ketchup and sugar in a small sauce pan over low heat - stirring constantly. Pour over the Meatloaf in the last 15 minutes of cooking time.

Notes

Instruct your guests to bring:
- 2 pairs of black shirt
- 2 pairs of black pants
- 1 pair of combat boots
- Two pairs of black socks
- One black jacket
- $300 personal burial money

Published by

Big Jim

James "Big Jim" Carlson, 2/13/1975-2/17/2025 James was a joie de vivre, frugal gourmet, sybarite, aspiring author extraordinary, neo-pessimist philosopher, devout atheist, professional clown, amateur subversive, and individualist by choice. Rest in peace, my friend.

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