This is Bob…err…Meatloaf…Meatloaf has bitch-tits. Serves 4-8 people, but only two at a time. Prep for as long as you need. Cook until one person taps out or goes unconscious.
Ketchup glaze
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Dice all of the vegetables and place them a large bowl. Keep your pistols nearby for motivational purposes.
  2. Add vinegar to the diced vegetables and mix well. Lightly sweat the vegetables in the olive oil. Combine the ground beef, sausage, vegetables, breadcrumbs and eggs into a large roasting or loaf pan. Pound with fists into cookie dough (imagine you’re destroying something beautiful).
  3. Lay strips of bacon in a lattice pattern over the top of the bitch tit. If unsure how to do this, please refer to the Crazy Russian Hacker’s instructional video (
  4. Cover the Robert Paulson and place in the oven for 1 hour (or until his rectal temperature reaches 165 degrees).
Ketchup Glaze
  1. While Meatloaf is baking-off, combine ketchup and sugar in a small sauce pan over low heat – stirring constantly. Pour over the Meatloaf in the last 15 minutes of cooking time.
Recipe Notes

Instruct your guests to bring:

– 2 pairs of black shirt
– 2 pairs of black pants
– 1 pair of combat boots
– Two pairs of black socks
– One black jacket
– $300 personal burial money